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Thanks to all who attended my open chat today. Names have been changed to protect the innocent in most cases. Here are some highlights from the chat today. Hope more can attend in the future.
2012-04-21 16:07:07 [Message] Akasha -> : I think the best way to know if a woman is dominant is to use the art of flirtation
2012-04-21 16:07:16 [Message] Akasha -> : and look for cues
2012-04-21 16:07:24 [Message] wwonder -> : Pool cues?
2012-04-21 16:07:28 [Message] paul -> : well there is a friend at work I’d love to know if she is Dom?
2012-04-21 16:07:39 [Message] charlie -> : Akasha, what percentage of everyday women do you think are to some degree Dommes?
2012-04-21 16:07:41 [Message] Akasha -> : a dominant women doesn’t necessarily look for the quietest guy in the room remember
2012-04-21 16:07:45 [Message] Akasha -> : charlie - lots!
2012-04-21 16:07:58 [Message] Akasha -> : dominant women like assertive men and men in between.
2012-04-21 16:07:59 [Message] wwonder -> : Make a joke about strap-on.
2012-04-21 16:08:01 [Message] charlie -> : They're so hard to find!
2012-04-21 16:08:44 [Message] Akasha -> : another way is to look for an outgoing and adventurous personality. they probably are outgoing in the bedroom also
2012-04-21 16:08:47 [Message] Tral -> : from my experience, i have met several women that started out as submissive but turned the tables on me and became dominant.
2012-04-21 16:08:52 [Message] Akasha -> : of course I am talking about women who are kinky....
2012-04-21 16:09:03 [Message] Akasha -> : right Tral...they are sexually adventurous
2012-04-21 16:09:06 [Message] wwonder -> : I thought it was the quiet ones you had to worry about?
2012-04-21 16:09:07 [Message] charlie -> : Every woman I meet seems to play hard to get, I almost never encounter any aggressive women.
2012-04-21 16:09:16 [Message] rally -> : But are all dominant women assertive appearing on the outside?
2012-04-21 16:09:27 [Message] Akasha -> : but what you also need to be wary of are women who are CONTROLLING or BITCHY or DOMINEERING and you think you hit the jackpot and get into a relationship and find out they are NOT femdom
2012-04-21 16:09:31 [Message] Akasha -> : have any of you done that?
2012-04-21 16:09:42 [Message] Akasha -> : no rally. Not all femdoms are dominant on the outside.
2012-04-21 16:09:53 [Message] paul -> : she told me said we should get coffe one day
2012-04-21 16:10:01 [Message] Akasha -> : some women are just bitchy and insecure. and subs get mixed up with them and realize they are just bitchy and selfish.
2012-04-21 16:10:14 [Message] wwonder -> : And not all dominant women take it into the bedroom.
2012-04-21 16:10:26 [Message] Tral -> : the ones i ended up with started out as a normal relationship and things took off from there.
2012-04-21 16:10:31 [Message] rally -> : :(
2012-04-21 16:10:38 [Message] Xxmac -> : that's the truth
2012-04-21 16:10:42 [Message] Akasha -> : I don't ACT dominant per se in day to day life. I am confident and assertive but I am not overbearing or controlling. I don't have to be in charge of everyone and everything. I am diplomatic
2012-04-21 16:11:15 [Message] wwonder -> : But not diplomatic on Thursday nights, Akasha?
2012-04-21 16:11:19 [Message] rally -> : But an open communicative person, more extroverted than introverted perhaps...
2012-04-21 16:11:21 [Message] Akasha -> : I don’t feel threatened by other women or people in a room and I don’t have to be the center of attention. dominance for me is about my interaction with the person I am pursuing.
2012-04-21 16:11:24 [Message] Akasha -> : its more about seduction and lust
2012-04-21 16:11:46 [Message] Akasha -> : haha martin no but that’s a situation where the men consent to be there of course!
2012-04-21 16:11:47 [Message] paul -> : i did some work for her and she was very demanding!
2012-04-21 16:11:54 [Message] wwonder -> : Pursuing. I like that.
2012-04-21 16:12:23 [Message] Akasha -> : I was at a concert this week and reminded of how much I have a distaste for being pursued, looked at, whatever. I PREFER to be the one pursuing
2012-04-21 16:12:43 [Message] Akasha -> : I am more predatory than "Oh look at me" when it comes to men
2012-04-21 16:13:03 [Message] wwonder -> : Have you pursued any women?
2012-04-21 16:13:16 [Message] Akasha -> : yes, in my 20s I did. Experimentally
2012-04-21 16:13:17 [Message] Xxmac -> : if we hadn't met how would I get you to pursue me?
2012-04-21 16:13:20 [Message] Akasha -> : doesn’t everyone :)
2012-04-21 16:13:24 [Message] rally -> : hehe
2012-04-21 16:13:32 [Message] Tral -> : that is hot, a woman that knows what she wants and pursues.
2012-04-21 16:13:39 [Message] Akasha -> : Mac I have pursued men online before -- I get attracted to their mind
2012-04-21 16:13:54 [Message] Akasha -> : ever wait on baited breath for that next email? that kind of thing
2012-04-21 16:14:10 [Message] paul -> : could you give a general list of traits a Dominant woman may have?
2012-04-21 16:14:21 [Message] Xxmac -> : yes with my heart pounding
2012-04-21 16:14:22 [Message] charlie -> : Are Dommes much more likely to start the flirtation, or as women are they still looking for the man to open the dialogue first?
2012-04-21 16:14:26 [Message] wwonder -> : Maybe there aren't many dominant women. Their are none in the other chatroom I am in at the moment - and there hasn't been for some time.
2012-04-21 16:15:36 [Message] Akasha -> : dominant women I find are creative, self starting, usually own their own business or are entrepreneurial
2012-04-21 16:15:37 [Message] rally -> : My wife is very assertive and enjoys things being the way she wants them (cleanliness, what the family does, what we watch, tiger mom-ish w/the children)... I've opened a door a little, sharing my submissive interests, and thankfully she didn't run away...
2012-04-21 16:16:03 [Message] Akasha -> : how many men here are currently in a relationship or have met or been with femdoms...you will see there are femdoms in existence
2012-04-21 16:16:04 [Message] Akasha -> : :)
2012-04-21 16:16:08 [Message] rally -> : but I feel I might be pushing her more than she herself having a dominant nature. And I don't want to do that, yet I need my release...
2012-04-21 16:16:30 [Message] rally -> : Yes
2012-04-21 16:16:39 [Message] wwonder -> : What about body types? Is that important?
2012-04-21 16:17:04 [Message] Akasha -> : body types for subs?
2012-04-21 16:17:15 [Message] wwonder -> : Yes.
2012-04-21 16:17:55 [Message] charlie -> : Depends if she wants an alpha sub or a feminized sissy I guess martin
2012-04-21 16:17:57 [Message] paul -> : We work in a world wide company and I haven't been ever lucky in finding dominant woman
2012-04-21 16:18:00 [Message] Akasha -> : I think it depends on the preference of the woman
2012-04-21 16:18:24 [Message] Akasha -> : charlie a man can be an alpha sub and a feminized sissy at the same time
2012-04-21 16:18:26 [Message] Tracy -> : doesn't everything depend on that, lol
2012-04-21 16:18:29 [Message] Akasha -> : have you read my corporate slut series?
2012-04-21 16:18:35 [Message] Akasha -> : he's the ultimate alpha male and a total bitch
2012-04-21 16:18:39 [Message] rally -> : *applaud*
2012-04-21 16:18:43 [Message] Akasha -> : yes Tracy
2012-04-21 16:18:46 [Join Room] Ice -> :
2012-04-21 16:18:54 [Message] paul -> : is there signals i could send her of comment i could make with out being fired or sued?
2012-04-21 16:19:00 [Message] Akasha -> : part of the passion of BDSM is being able to take a man and turn him into something else and take him out of his comfort zone anyway
2012-04-21 16:21:03 [Message] Akasha -> : however, I guess my point is that there are femdoms in all walks of life
2012-04-21 16:21:15 [Message] Akasha -> : and some never, ever touch a keyboard to go to a fetish web site or to a bdsm party
2012-04-21 16:32:38 [Message] Akasha -> : Ok here's the number one tip for making sure your femdom enjoys the strap on play. YOU DONT GET TO PICK THE SIZE OF THE DILDO
2012-04-21 16:32:42 [Message] Akasha -> : men ALWAYS pick too large
2012-04-21 16:32:48 [Message] Akasha -> : your eyes are bigger than your assholes
2012-04-21 16:32:51 [Message] wwonder -> : Are you sure?
2012-04-21 16:32:52 [Message] charlie -> : lol
2012-04-21 16:32:57 [Message] rally -> : :)
2012-04-21 16:34:16 [Message] Akasha -> : The other tip for men: let the woman pick out the harness. Harnesses can be comfortable or uncomfortable
2012-04-21 16:34:23 [Message] Akasha -> : depending on how a woman likes to wear things
2012-04-21 16:34:39 [Message] Akasha -> : and there’s nothing worse than a harness that fits wrong when you are being....rigorous
2012-04-21 16:34:46 [Message] charlie -> : next you'll tell me I have to let the woman pick the hole!
2012-04-21 16:34:49 [Message] rally -> : (cannot imagine wifey considering doing this for/to him)
2012-04-21 16:35:51 [Message] Tral -> : is this still an open chat or should we be doing something?
2012-04-21 16:36:01 [Message] Akasha -> : Also I think it's a good idea that as a couple you have already become comfortable with anal play in general before moving in to strap on play
2012-04-21 16:36:03 [Message] wwonder -> : Typing.
2012-04-21 16:36:04 [Message] Akasha -> : tral what do you mean?
2012-04-21 16:36:25 [Message] Akasha -> : both hands on the keyboard at all times, Tral.
2012-04-21 16:36:27 [Message] Akasha -> : thats the "rule"
2012-04-21 16:36:28 [Message] charlie -> : meaning should we be using props, I think
2012-04-21 16:36:32 [Message] Akasha -> : uhh, no
2012-04-21 16:36:32 [Message] Tral -> : The last chat was not formal. I am not sure of the protocol for this chat
2012-04-21 16:36:33 [Message] wwonder -> : Ha ha.
2012-04-21 16:36:45 [Message] Akasha -> : Tral if you are looking for playtime that's Thursday night :)
2012-04-21 16:36:52 [Message] Akasha -> : more commands than you can shake a dildo at
2012-04-21 16:36:58 [Message] user244 -> : *laughs*
2012-04-21 16:37:22 [Message] Tral -> : no i wasn't looking for playtime, i just wanted to make sure i knew how to interact
2012-04-21 16:37:24 [Message] rally -> : Is there any "easier/better" way to introduce anal play? I mean, if you've already been intimate a while it seems hard to imagine making the intro...
2012-04-21 16:37:35 [Message] Akasha -> : regarding strap on play the thing is you want your girlfriend to be fully comfortable with how it feels to penetrate your ass before she tries to navigate a harness and use her hips...trust me!
2012-04-21 16:38:05 [Message] Akasha -> : rally, you have to have the groundwork and language laid out to be able to have frank and comfortable discussions about sex
2012-04-21 16:38:15 [Message] Akasha -> : try reading erotica together
2012-04-21 16:38:21 [Message] Akasha -> : but pick things that are tame
2012-04-21 16:38:29 [Message] Akasha -> : even more tame than my stories :)
2012-04-21 16:38:29 [Message] wwonder -> : So what is the difference between solo play and play as a couple?
2012-04-21 16:38:30 [Message] charlie -> : or watching porn together?!
2012-04-21 16:38:40 [Message] Akasha -> : martin....solo play is by yourself :)
2012-04-21 16:38:50 [Message] Akasha -> : charlie be careful about porn
2012-04-21 16:38:53 [Message] Akasha -> : in fact I say no porn
2012-04-21 16:38:56 [Message] Akasha -> : porn is the worst for women
2012-04-21 16:38:59 [Message] Tral -> : your stories aren't very tame....lol
2012-04-21 16:39:01 [Message] wwonder -> : Yeah, I mean mentally.
2012-04-21 16:39:09 [Message] Akasha -> : you get a woman in latex doing acrobatics with a bouncing dildo
2012-04-21 16:39:24 [Message] Akasha -> : tral yeah I said not even my stories..I mean stories that are very tame
2012-04-21 16:39:26 [Message] Tracy -> : got my husband his own toys to play with so he could learn and understand how his anal muscles work ... we moved from fingers to beads to butt plugs before we tackled a full on harness and dildo
2012-04-21 16:39:33 [Message] charlie -> : I wanted to be the pummel horse
2012-04-21 16:39:41 [Message] Akasha -> : there is a video called Bend over Boyfriend that is good
2012-04-21 16:39:54 [Message] rally -> : Yes, I'd *love* to find something TV or book that was really tame entry that we could share to transition from the vanilla to the pinapple... ;)
2012-04-21 16:39:57 [Message] Akasha -> : Anal pleasures and Health is a good book
2012-04-21 16:39:58 [Message] wwonder -> : Unconvincing videos.
2012-04-21 16:40:30 [Message] Akasha -> : Maybe I will write a very in depth article about what the deal is with anal play
2012-04-21 16:40:31 [Message] Akasha -> : lol
2012-04-21 16:40:39 [Message] Akasha -> : all I know is men make great sounds
2012-04-21 16:40:48 [Message] Akasha -> : talk about vulnerability . woo
2012-04-21 16:40:55 [Message] user244 -> : Mmm
2012-04-21 16:40:56 [Message] rally -> : hehe
2012-04-21 16:40:58 [Message] charlie -> : even through a gag?
2012-04-21 16:41:01 [Message] Akasha -> : if you want to go from zero to begging in ten seconds, lube up
2012-04-21 16:41:03 [Message] Akasha -> : oh yeah
2012-04-21 16:41:15 [Message] Ice -> : I have trouble asking for strap-on play, because while I find it very erotic, I also find it very frightening.
2012-04-21 16:41:25 [Message] Akasha -> : but what men have to realize is that women for the most part don’t think in terms of the acts
2012-04-21 16:41:30 [Message] Akasha -> : they think in terms of the interaction, or the reaction
2012-04-21 16:41:38 [Message] Akasha -> : so there has to be something in it for her as far as what it DOES to you
2012-04-21 16:41:44 [Message] Akasha -> : and the way YOU react has to be a turn on for her
2012-04-21 16:41:58 [Message] Akasha -> : and most women are not aroused by the stereotypical depiction of the "male worthless worm" so stay away from that
2012-04-21 16:42:01 [Message] Ice -> : It's hard to ask for something when the thing that switches it from "scary" to "hot" is having it almost forced on you.
2012-04-21 16:42:19 [Message] Tracy -> : you are so right, nothing hotter than the sound of a man moaning and yelling when he's really enjoying it
2012-04-21 16:42:20 [Message] Akasha -> : personally, for me, I am very attracted to a strong man showing vulnerability and helplessness, so that’s what I want
2012-04-21 16:42:27 [Message] Akasha -> : other women want intimacy, or struggle, or lust
2012-04-21 16:42:29 [Message] Tral -> : having it forced on you is hot to me
2012-04-21 16:42:29 [Message] Akasha -> : it just depends
2012-04-21 16:42:45 [Message] Akasha -> : you HAVE to identify her hot buttons EARLY and work up to it
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