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(This is an article I wrote in 1997 when I started doing phone domination calls....but it still holds true)
This question has come up a lot lately so I thought I'd address it.
I don't know what a "telephone dominatrix" does on the phone. I was never trained on how to do this or shown a right or wrong way, or given a guidebook. I'll tell you how I learned to do it.
In 1995, Akasha came to the internet. This is back when I would just post stories on alt.sex.femdom now and then and sometimes give a few opinions. At that time I was involved in a very serious vanilla relationship, and was sexually monogamous. My partner knew of my bdsm desires, and did accommodate me from time to time, but as we got closer he admitted that it just wasn't something he enjoyed.
There was a lot of trust in our relationship, and everything else was so wonderful that both of us wanted it to work. So we compromised, and we had an agreement that I would be allowed to play with other people outside of the relationship. The rules were that he could meet the people, veto them if he wanted to, observe if he chose to, and that I would remain sexually monogamous.
Even though I did play from time to time, during that relationship I toned down my "real life" sessions quite a bit - from my usual once a week or twice a month to about once every other month.
But, I still needed something to hold me over, so to speak. I'm sort of like a vampire - I get this hunger for it, and it doesn't go away. Some things help though - like writing stories (this is another reason my webpage flourished during that time, I was writing all the time to express my desires, and playing less frequently than I do now).
I met lots of fun people on the net through newsgroups, irc and e-mail. I found myself developing very fun and intense relationships with men I was attracted to. I even started dabbling in "net.domination", sort of like cybersex but with a BDSM slant.
Anyway, one night I wanted to call one of these guys. I was very attracted to him. I had never had "Phonesex" before, and I intended just to talk with him. Well, one thing led to another, and I was intoxicated by the sound of his voice.
You can probably tell by my stories that I am very into breathing and subtle sounds - the rattling of chains, soft gasps, muffled whimpers. All of these translate beautifully on the phone.
From that point on, I started doing phone domination with my partners - my net partners. First it was once every month, then it was once a week, soon it was several times a week. Expensive, yes. But it was a wonderful release. I would call my partners at a pre-determined time, and I would take out all my pent up domination frustrations on them, thriving on the soft litttle whimpers and changes in their breathing. It's the closest to real life I have found, and almost a replacement for the real thing - almost. Not quite. I have found that if I do phone sessions regularly, my desire to play in real life tapers just a bit, and I can put it off for a few weeks instead of needing it once a week.
I got more elaborate in my domination style. I found great pleasure in sending my slaves "care packages" that would be toys I picked out, and they were not allowed to open them until I was on the phone with them. I could listen to their reactions when they pulled out the handcuffs or gags or nipple clamps or butt plugs. Oh what wonderful reactions! Then I would make them use them for me. Sometimes we would roleplay and he'd beg me not to make him do it; other times he would surrender at once to my will. And I would listen, and masturbate, and get the biggest rush from his voice, and the sounds of the toys - you can *hear* handcuffs rattling, or that sharp, painful intake of air when the clamps go on. This is hot. I can't even explain it.
Between e-mail and phone, I would have pretty intense relationships with my net.slaves, in that I would often monitor their orgasms and masturbation, make them send me stories, and they would have to be available when my hunger was peaking so that I could have them at my mercy. Enforced chastity can break a man down so beautifully, and I loved getting those begging emails and voice mail messages that pleaded and promised me the world for release.
This went on for about a year. My webpage grew (some people only visited my page after the phone sessions were offered, and don't realize that the page existed for over a year before that!). So did my phone bills. I had my regular phoneslaves, and I also would sometimes go into a "prowling" mode on the net, where I would go onto irc with the goal of finding someone new, that night, to get onto the phone and dominate. Very exciting!
So, eventually I looked into doing phone sessions from my page, both because I found it to be a very hot release, and because it would help offset the costs of my own phone bills. To this day, a huge chunk of the returns I get from my phone training goes to paying my own phone bill (I still do personal phone sessions with net.slaves a few times a week), and the rest goes to my toy and fetish clothes fund.
That's how I started doing it. I don't know what 900 numbers do, but from what I have heard, much of it is scripted. That doesn't work for me - I like to actually dominate/control/use the person on the other line, to get him helpless, to make him make sweet whimpering noises, to turn him into a slut/whore, to make him do things that scare him.
For those that believe you can't be dominated over the phone - I challenge you to call me, or talk to someone that has. I used to be skeptical from the other side - thinking I could not feed my domination "hunger" via the phone, but I have found it can be almost as intense as real life if you connect. (c)
Copyright 2003. All rights reserved. akasha@akashaweb.com
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